Welcome to our next book, Radical Homemakers! Let’s read the preface and introduction for next Monday, then we’ll read one chapter each week (they’re pretty long chapters, and there are only 7 of them, so it won’t be too bad). I’ll be ready to discuss the first assignment with a post on Monday!
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I always have been a bit of a know-it-all. There’s a certain freedom in admitting that, so there you have it.
Accordingly, I have an issue with the unknown. Frankly, unknowns scare the bleep out of me.
I’ll get over it.
Probably in Heaven.
Anyway.
This whole adoption thing has turned me into a big ol’ stressbag because of all the unknowns: Will God provide a way? How will He provide? WHEN will He provide? Will the social worker like us? Will all the details come together? Who will our daughter be? What will be her story? Will we meet her birth family? What if all sorts of things change in Ethiopia before we can get to her? If we can get her home, how will our kiddos adjust to having a new sister? Will she learn to love us?
And that’s just a start.
Sigh.
So I have been pouring my heart out to God for these last several weeks, telling him all about my questions (which He already knows), my insecurities (which He already knows), my issues with not having steps A to Z clearly mapped out before He told us to move forward with our application (which, again…).
I’ve asked Him for billboards: clear, unmistakable road signs that tell us where to go, when to go, and exactly how long it will take us to complete this journey. I’ve asked for money to fall out of the sky.
God has instead chosen to give us a treasure map, broken into seemingly thousands of puzzle pieces… and He hands them to us one at a time. Last week after turning in our agency application, God allowed Bryan to get back some of his lost pay — he’s now up to about 70% instead of the 50% he has been working at for the past two months. It’s only a tiny piece of the overall puzzle… it doesn’t help us toward the adoption finances, but it helps stop the budget bleeding we’ve been experiencing of late. So it’s a significant piece for today, and we’ll take it.
At this point, however, we have been given so few of those puzzle pieces that we don’t see the entire path; we don’t often even see the next step we are to take.
Yet…
We know His commands for us to love the orphan:
In you the orphan finds mercy. -Hosea 14:3
You are the helper of the fatherless. LORD, You have heard the desire of the humble; You will prepare their heart; You will cause Your ear to hear, To do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, That the man of the earth may oppress no more. -Psalms 10:14,17-18
Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. -James 1:27
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows — this is God, whose dwelling is holy. God places the lonely in families. -Psalms 68:5-6
Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. -Isaiah 1:17
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice. -Proverbs 31:8-9
And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. -Matthew 18:5
And we do know that we are to trust Him; we know He will bring us to the destination He has for us.
Trust. Why, oh why, is that so difficult?
What about our fallen nature makes it so hard to trust our Father to lead us?
Since the beginning, Satan has goaded our suspicion of God… and again and again, we choose to believe his lies, to live in fear and doubt when faced with the unknown rather than to rest in God’s mercy. Down deep, just like Adam and Eve, we really don’t believe God is out for our good… yet He reminds us that He is, again and again. Our good Father is unbelievably patient, understanding beyond measure, and gracious beyond all imagination; He does indeed make straight our paths, even when we can’t see two inches in front of our own faces. And what blessed assurance of that He provides!
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” -Romans 8:14-16
Yet I struggle.
So all I can do today is fall on my knees and cry out to Him, that He might grace me yet again with that Spirit… so I won’t give in to the fear but instead will have confidence that, puzzle piece by puzzle piece, He will lead me to the treasure that can only be found in Him.
And for money to fall from the sky. 🙂