Archive for November, 2010


Jonah (6 yrs old) was cutting some leftover fabric at the kitchen counter tonight after dinner… and the following conversation between he and Daddy ensued:

J:  “Look at this.  I’m cutting this fabric into money.”

D:  “Great!  Now I won’t have to go to work tomorrow!”

J:  “Daddy, you don’t just go to work for money.  You go to work for God.”

Touche.  🙂


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Happy Thanksgiving!

May all our thankfulness and gratitude point to the only One deserving of it.  Grace and peace to you all, today and always!

1. Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.
2. Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I’m come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.
3. O to grace how great a debtor
daily I’m constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

– “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing”, Robert Robinson (1735-1790)

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My heart, her heart

We have been on the wait list now for three months.

During that time, we have moved from #64 to #46 on the infant girl list.

Only one of the many referrals given during this time has been for an infant girl.

The moral of this story? Time moves slowly when you’re waiting on someone else’s timetable for your family to be complete.

So, where is my heart today?

Well, you know, that’s a tough thing to put into words.  Where is my heart right now, as we wait and look expectantly to the future, hoping and praying for our as-yet unknown daughter?

Can I tell you the truth?

When I allow myself to really think about it, to really engage my heart…

It weeps.  I weep.


Like when I read this post, penned by my dear friend Missy.  My heart explodes with grief, with longing, with anger at the fallen world.  Why is adoption even necessary?  Why can’t these dear babies stay with the mommas who bore them?  Why, Lord?

Or when I stand up with my husband, children, and another wonderful family in front of our church just a few days ago, asking for prayer on Orphan Sunday as we wait for our newest littles to come home.  Our hearts are filled with hope and expectation (and fear)… while another’s heart, halfway around the world, breaks in two as she feels the tiny flutters in her belly.

This world is desperately broken.  It’s just not right.

At the same time, I weep while trying to get my heart around God’s sovereignty.  His goodness and mercy.  The way He answers a believing birth mother’s deepest, most desperate prayers for her son, to preserve his very life.  To allow two mothers to rejoice and worship Him together… hand in hand… as one says hello to her baby boy and the other says good-bye.

Our Baby E’s birth mother may be praying desperately at this very moment, having just found out she’s with child.  And God is orchestrating each and every step to answer her prayer, to save her child, to bring E to our family at the exact right time.

Our wait has its hard days.  But her wait is excruciating, every day.  It has to be.

I weep for her.  And I pray for her.

And I pray that one day in the not-to-distant future, I will be able to hold her hand, look into her eyes, promise with all my broken heart to love her daughter… and weep with her.  I pray that, on that day, we’ll both be confident of eternity even though we’re fearful and saddened by the present.

And in the meantime, I wait.

I am ever reminded that we see as delay, He sees as Providence.  He knew all of this would happen.  When it would happen.

He knew our daughter — and the woman who gave her life — would need to be saved from desperation and hopelessness.

And He, my friends, is in the business of Saving.

That’s what my heart holds onto today.  And yesterday.  And tomorrow.

May He be forever praised.

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#51-100, the Book Edition


The Starr boys, reading in one of their favorite spots

I’m going to cheat a bit… but since I love books and all (and I’m boring myself to death with all this talk about me… seriously, I’m not that interesting), I’m going to wrap up my list by giving you some all-time fave reads of mine.

Yes, all 50 of them.  🙂

51.  The Bible, by God

Historical Fiction

52.  Quo Vadis, by Henryk Sienkiewicz
53.  The Brothers K, by David James Duncan
54.  Safely Home, by Randy Alcorn
55.  The Red Tent, by Anita Diamant


56.  The History of the Ancient World, by Susan Wise Bauer
57.  John Adams, by David McCullough
58.  1776, by David McCullough
59.  Mayflower, by Nathaniel Philbrick
60.  Democracy in America, by Alexis DeTocqueville
61.  The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt/Theodore Rex, by Edmund Morris


62.  Til We have Faces, by C.S. Lewis
63.  The Chronicles of Narnia, by C.S. Lewis
64.  The Hobbit, by J.R.R. Tolkein
65.  The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, by J.R.R. Tolkein
66.  A Wrinkle in Time Quintet, by Madeline L’Engle
67.  Leepike Ridge, by N.D. Wilson
68.  100 Cupboards Trilogy, by N.D. Wilson
69.  C.S. Lewis’ Space Trilogy
70.  Percy Jackson and the Olympians Series, by Rick Riordan
71.  Fablehaven Series, by Brandon Mull
72.  The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Series, by Douglas Adams


73.  Deadline/Dominion, by Randy Alcorn
74.  The Mysterious Benedict Society Trilogy, by Trenton Lee Stewart
75.  A Canticle for Leibowitz, by Walter Miller
76.  The Penderwicks/The Penderwicks on Gardam Street, by Jeanne Birdsall


77.  The Screwtape Letters, by C.S. Lewis
78.  A Praying Life, by Paul Miller
79.  Mere Christianity, by C.S. Lewis
80.  Desiring God, by John Piper
81.  Vintage Jesus, by Mark Driscoll
82.  Adopted for Life, by Russell Moore
83.  Family-Driven Faith, by Voddie Baucham
84.  Heaven, by Randy Alcorn

Social/Educational/Family Issues

85.  Good News About Injustice, by Gary Haugen
86.  Bringing Up Boys/Bringing Up Girls, by Dr. James Dobson
87.  What He Must Be If He Wants to Marry My Daughter, by Voddie Baucham
88.  Just Courage, by Gary Haugen
89.  Amusing Ourselves to Death, by Neil Postman
90.  There is No Me Without You, by Melissa Faye Greene
91.  The End of Education, by Neil Postman
92.  The Abolition of Man, by C.S. Lewis
93.  What is a Family? by Edith Schaeffer

Kid Stuff

94.  The Jesus Storybook Bible
95.  The Big Picture Story Bible
96.  Little Pilgrim’s Progress
97.  My ABC Verses/Big Truths for Little Kids
98.  Songs for Saplings (CD, I know)
99.  The Sword and the Scroll/The Princess and the Kiss
100.  James Herriot’s Treasury for Children

So there.

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(I’m continuing my “100 Things About Me” post; #1-25 can be found here)

26.  I gained about 75 pounds with my first full-term pregnancy.

27.  Bryan took a picture of me a few days before Jonah was born, and to date it has NEVER been printed.  Not once.  Much to my dear mother-in-law’s chagrin.  🙂 I do, however, use it sparingly as a tool of encouragement to friends who are in those same last days, when they feel like beached whales.  Once they see my enormousness, they tend to feel a bit better about themselves.  🙂

28.  I gained 50 or so pounds while pregnant with our #2, Boden.  Not quite as heinous.

29.  I gained only 38 pounds with Annie, our third-born.  A mere pittance.

30.  I like to read.  A lot.

31.  My favorite genre of books varies, although juvenile/adult fantasy fiction seems to be nose-to-nose with my history biographies at this point.  It’s a toss-up.

32.  Speaking of history, my favorite president of all time was Teddy Roosevelt.

33.  My second favorite was John Adams: brilliant, sacrificial, and totally under-appreciated in the history books.

34.  Both were chosen for character, rather than political, reasons.

35.  I have the metabolism of a snail.  Seriously, if another person tells me “oh, you’re skinny, it must be easy for you to keep weight off”, I may not be responsible for my actions in response.  I have to work my tail off to battle my genes, my family medical history, my natural tendency to blow up like an inflatable apple-shaped fat balloon.

36.  Some days are more successful than others.  I have to learn to deal with that.

37.  I have been in love with horses for my entire life.

38.  I have never lived on a farm, nor have I lived anywhere else where actually owning a horse would be feasible (although I for years dreamed I could set up a stall outside the back garage door just like in the book “Summer Pony”… but my mom wouldn’t go for it).  Cruel irony.

39.  I’m not a super-clean person.

40.  My husband is… like in the OCD category of clean.  For his benefit (ahem, his sanity), I am trying to be better about having a more regular cleaning schedule, but God bless him for putting up with me in the meantime.

41.  In particular, I hate dusting.  Why can’t someone invent a super-suction centrally-located vacuum that only attracts dust, then you could just flip a switch and all the dust yuck in the entire house would be immediately sucked away into oblivion?  I would buy that in a second.

42.  I do, however, love to organize… I just have no time table for completing said organization.  Therefore, there are almost always numerous piles of things throughout the house that are “in process”.  Drives my poor husband nuts.

43.  I have a very sensitive musical ear.  If something is the least bit out of tune, I go a little nutty.

44.  One would think that this musical ear I have would mean I also have perfect pitch… or at least a good singing voice.  One would be wrong.  (my band director was shocked, I tell you)

45.  I did, however, play a mean French Horn back in the day.  There are many days when I miss it terribly.

46.  I think playing the Horn for so many years gave me a sincere and eternal appreciation for good classical music.  A well-played Horn sure makes for a beautiful and haunting melody.  If you’re interested, I have tons of great Horn music I could share.  I know you’re dying to hear it.  😉

47.  I loathed marching band in high school, in large part because of the nasty polyester uniforms and the way my braced teeth would practically fuse to my mouthpiece during halftime of a particularly chilly football game.

48.  I had to give up playing in college because I couldn’t afford to pay for my own Horn (I had borrowed one from school).  Stinks.

49.  I have since spent several years playing an African drum in various church worship bands.

50.  I’m not NEARLY as good at the drum as I was at the Horn… one of the many reasons I don’t play at our current church.

(If you’re still reading at this point, I applaud you!  Stay tuned for more!)

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I give you what is apparently a rite of passage for those who have stuck with the bloggy thang long enough to make it to the 100th post:

100 Things about Me.

(audible group groan)

Yes, I know.  But it simply must be done.

(Says who?  I have no idea… just go with it)

I’ll tell you up front, I don’t think I’m the most interesting person in the world.  Nor the funniest… not by a long stretch.

Nonetheless, off we go!

1.  I am a mountain girl.  Something about the way the Front Range looks at dusk — with the sun setting behind and the shadows in front making the whole scene look like a beautiful watercolor — makes me sigh with blissful contentment every time.

2.  Because we live in Colorado, I have the privilege of seeing that panoramic watercolor most evenings.  Bliss, I tell you.

3.  I am also a mountain girl because my amazing husband is a mountain man.  The boy thrives in the mountain air… and longs each year for the two summer months where climbing ridiculously high peaks is possible (and permissible).  Boys.  Sheesh.

4.  I am NOT a beach girl.  No way.

5.  I won’t even get into ocean water past my ankles because when I was very young (maybe 4-5 years old), I saw on a beach in Florida — from a distance — a girl get her foot bitten off by a baby shark while she was wading in waist deep water.  No no surfing or snorkling for me.  Ever.  I’ll survive.  🙂

6.  I also hate intense heat and humidity.

7.  And mosquitos.

8.  Which cancels out much of the continental United States as possibilities for settlement.  Colorado works.

9.  I had two successful VBACs after our first wee child was born via c-section.

10.  For the life of me, I cannot comprehend how birth is possible without an epidural.  Perhaps a combination of baby size, momma’s body shape, and pain tolerance are so different for me than for some other folks that it’s like comparing apples with oranges or something.  Because God knows I tried my best to go au naturale with #2 (due to some medicinal complications with #1 that had contributed to our need for a c-section) and I felt like I was being completely ripped apart at only 5 centimeters.  God bless you ladies who have done it… you are forever my heroes.

11.  I have had a curvature in my hip since I was an infant.

12.  If you have ever seen me run, that explains why my left leg goes a little wacky sometimes.  Womanly grace and I have never been the best of friends.  🙂

13.  I used to be fast.  Like really fast.  Like in junior high.

14.  Alas, my speed went the way of puberty… pushed out of my life forever by my hips.  Oh well.

15.  Nicknames I have had in my life:  Nicolette, Icky-nay (not my favorite), Nickel, Nichel, Superstarr.

16.  Oh, and Sparky.  Let’s just say there was a little lab accident in Biology class during my sophomore year of high school.

17.  If I ever had a week off of any and all responsibility, I frankly would have no idea what to do with myself.  I guess I would read… and run… and read some more.  Oh, and sleep.

18.  I not-so-secretly want our family to be missionaries in Ireland someday.  It’s like a joke now between Bryan and me… “oh well, if this doesn’t work out we can just go be missionaries in Ireland.”  I’m not sure why, but since watching a syndicated episode of Scrubs the other night where Colin Farrell was guest-starring as an Irish bloke, I have a feeling part of the reason is to get my man THAT accent.  Yummy.  (the accent, not Mr. Farrell)

19.  That, or buy land and build our own little log cabin in the mountains.  Depending on my mood.

20.  My favorite color is usually green.

21.  But pink sometimes makes me really, really happy.  Given that I grew up pretty much a tomboy, that fact is a little odd.

22.  I am not, however, a girl who loves to receive flower bouquets.  In general, I think they’re a total waste of money.

23.  Now, homemade paper flowers or a bouquet of dandelions personally picked for me by one of my two favorite little boys, that’s another thing entirely and totally acceptable.

24.  I also don’t understand the shoe obsession so many girls/women have.  Who knows… maybe I’d be more into it if I had more money.  For summer, I have one brown pair and one black pair of sandals; for winter, maybe another four pairs (black/brown shoes or clogs, plus black/brown boots), and running shoes.  I recently bought my first new pair of Keens for this winter… to replace clogs I’ve worn for at least the past five years.  Heck, I’ll probably still wear the old clogs anyway.

25.  Annie, however, seems to love shoes already.  She never passes up an opportunity to try on everyone’s shoes in the foyer… and says “pre-y” (pretty without the “t”) each and every time she has on a new pair.  Apparently the gene skips a generation.  🙂

Whew… and that’s only 25!  More to come…

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